Inuyasha: A Christmas Catastrophe
by Nuklear Firefly
Summary: Rating because of Inu's dirty mouth... What happens when everybody is knocked into Kagome's time around Christmas? Part Three: Mistletoe, presents, dog treats, and WAFFyness! RR!
1. Part One

Inuyasha: A Christmas Catastrophe...part one  
  
  
  
"Kukuku, you think you've got me, don't you?" Naraku shouted.  
  
"I don't THINK I've got you, I KNOW it!" Inuyasha snarled, bringing up the Tetsusaiga for another attack. He lunged, but the baboon-pelt-clad youkai easily sidestepped him.  
  
"Brave words, but you obviously can't act on them," Naraku taunted. Inuyasha growled again and started to drag himself to his feet when a shout from Miroku distracted him.  
  
"BACK UP, INUYASHA!"  
  
The hanyou glanced back at Miroku, saw that he was unraveling his hand from the prayer beads, and sprang back to stand protectively beside Kagome. Naraku's nerve-grating cackle rang out again.  
  
"KUKUKUKU! Fool! You think turning a curse I put on you will do any good against me? How about I just widen that tunnel a bit... you'll destroy yourself FOR me!"  
  
"NO!" Sango threw herself forward, tossing the beads back around the monk's wrist. "Houshi-sama, don't be stupid..."  
  
Miroku just nodded, sunned, as the annoying laugh sounded yet again. He cringed.  
  
"KUKUKU!! Then why don't you try out an all-new curse, fools?"  
  
"All-new...?!" Kagome started. Oh no! What if he turned Inuyasha against her? She wouldn't be able to take it! But wait... that wouldn't be "all- new"...  
  
Naraku snapped his claws and a black hole opened itself up right in front of them. "Kukukuku....it leads to another dimension..."  
  
"Deh...men...chun...?" Shippou repeated, confused.  
  
Naraku scowled. "Nevermind. All that matters is that it's going to suck ALL of you into OBLIVION! KUKUKU!"  
  
"Goddamnit, knock that stupid laugh off!" Inuyasha snapped. Naraku looked slightly hurt. Their attention was literally torn away when Sango and Kirara suddenly lifted right off of the ground and went right into the black hole. Miroku gave a strangled yowl of rage and sprang at Naraku, who calmly put a barrier around himself and watched passively as the monk struggled to attack him.  
  
"That won't do you any good," the youkai commented dryly. "Oh, there goes another one...kukuku..."  
  
Shippou was shooting towards the black hole, squealing in horror. Even after he vanished, his cries still hung in the air. The next to vanish was Inuyasha, who yelled about as many curse words as there were in exisistance, then Kagome, and lastly, Miroku. The black hole disappeared when Naraku snapped his claws again.  
  
"Ah, that's five less meddlers I'm rid of now..." He paused, knowing that something wasn't right. "Now what'd I forget....?"  
  
Birds and small animals fled the forest as a loud "OH DAMN, THE SHIKON JEWEL!" sounded around them.  
  
*********With Inu-tachi....********  
  
"Oh, man..."  
  
"*wheeze*"  
  
"EEEK! Miroku!"  
  
"Damnit, lech, don't touch her!"  
  
"You're on my TAIL!"  
  
"HOLD IT!"  
  
Everyone froze at Inuyasha's enraged shout. The hanyou was breathing heavily, furious with Miroku, but the fact was that he couldn't reach him. The tangled pile of creatures started at the bottom with Sango, who was wheezing for air, pinned on her stomach to the snowy ground. On her back was Shippou, who was crying from the pain of Inuyasha's weight pinning his tail to Sango's back. Kagome was flopped across Inuyasha's back, trying to keep from blushing-- her face was level with the back of his knees. How awkward... she thought. And, taking full advantage of being on the top of the pile, was Miroku, looking highly pleased with managing to cop a feel from Kagome without being mauled by Inuyasha. It was a good day, indeed.  
  
"Miroku, get your ass OFF of Kagome so I can get up and kill you!"  
  
"Why would I move when you have those intentions?" Miroku asked calmly.  
  
"Because....*gasp*...I'm going to...*wheeze*...die of suffocation...*cough*...if you don't," Sango's voice rasped from the bottom of the pile. Miroku scowled and stood up.  
  
The whole pile unravelled as fast as it had formed. Kagome rolled off of Inuyasha and onto the ground, Inuyasha stood and lifted Miroku up by the front of his robes off the ground, Shippou tore up a tree to escape and nurse his tail, and Sango flopped onto her back, gasping for precious air. Kagome calmly handled the Inuyasha-is-going-to-kill-Miroku-slowly-and- painfully situation with a single word.  
  
You know the drill.  
  
"Sit."  
  
"Shit!" CRASH. CRASH.  
  
First Inuyasha hit the ground face-down, followed immediately by Miroku, who scampered out of the way while he still could. Kagome sighed and looked around, ignoring Inuyasha while he cursed at her skillfully. A gasp caught in her throat when she realized where they were.  
  
"Guys...we're in my time!" she exclaimed. Inuyasha stopped cursing to look around.  
  
"Feh. So it is," he commented, even though he did look a bit surprised. Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Shippou looked around appreciatively.  
  
"It's rather pretty here..." Miroku complimented.  
  
"So much snow..." breathed Sango, who had finally caught her breath.  
  
"It smells funny!" Shippou complained loudly, still hugging his tail.  
  
"That's pollution, runt," Inuyasha told him.  
  
"Pole-oo-shun...?"  
  
"I'll explain it all to everyone, but let's just go into the house first, ok?" Kagome pleaded. Sitting in the snow was not on her list of favorite things to do.  
  
  
  
After a few hours of explaining tons of things about her time, Kagome remembered that Christmas was only a few days off and that she still hadn't bought any presents. Horrified, she scraped together every cent she had and nabbed her heavy winter coat, ready to take a bus up to the mall and make some very spur-of-the-moment gift buying decisions. What she hadn't counted on was a loud growl the second her hand touched the front door.  
  
"Where in the seven hells do you think you're going?"  
  
"Inuyasha..." she groaned, turning around to face the hanyou tiredly. He was leaning against a nearby wall, slurping noodles from a cup of instant ramen loudly. He swallowed, and stepped purposefully towards her.  
  
"If Naraku has a portal to this time, don't you think he'd send some minions after us? I don't want you getting hurt." His ears twitched. He was clearly riled up over this.  
  
"Inuyasha...." she grinned mischieviously. "Are you worried about me?"  
  
He blushed. "No! Of course not! It's just...we're so damn close to getting the whole f***ing jewel, what would I do without you to sense where they we- -"  
  
"Don't make me say it," she said darkly. His eyes widened and he backed up.  
  
"OK, OK! How 'bout we make a deal? You can go, but everyone comes along. Alright?"  
  
"Umn...alright..."  
  
And so it was, that an hour later, everyone was dressed in clothes that would slowly drive them over the edge of sanity. Inuyasha and Miroku both were wearing oversized things of Souta's and old clothes that once had belonged to Kagome's grandfather. Inuyasha had a baseball cap on his head, covering his dog ears, much to his dismay. Sango wore some things of Kagome's, while Shippou....  
  
Shippou was blessed with being dressed in doll clothes. "It's all that will fit!", as Kagome had cried defensively, through laughter. He wore cute little courduroy overalls, a short-sleeved green shirt, and little black shoes that made him shout that his paws hurt.  
  
In other words, nobody was happy. Especially Kagome, since she had to put up with everyone's bitching.  
  
They rode on the bus to the mall ("Inuyasha, if you keep growling, I'm gonna s-word you right through the floor!"), which was easily the longest fifteen minutes in everyone's lives. Nothing, however, compared to the chaos that was about to occur.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha was stunned. The huge building before him was filled with SO MANY sounds....SO MANY smells... and SO MANY humans! He pulled the baseball cap closer to his skull, flattening his ears back to block out the deafening noises. And the SCENTS! He couldn't even smell Kagome, who was standing at his shoulder, and the knowledge urked him on such a level that he worried slightly if he'd ever smell her comforting scent again. He stepped backwards, a low whimper in his throat. No. He couldn't chicken out, not in front of KAGOME, of all people! With a "feh", he strode proudly towards the doors...  
  
....and leapt backwards with a yowl of shock when the door swung open on its own.  
  
"Holy shit! Wh--what in the seven hells is going on?!"  
  
Kagome was just laughing hysterically, recieving odd looks from everyone, including her Feudal pals. She calmed down enough to comment to Inuyasha: "It's magic." in a loud whisper. He stared, marvelling the door, stepping back and forth to watch it swing open and closed again. This was kind of fun.  
  
Kagome let her friends play with the automatic door for five minutes before shoving Inuyasha through it ("Hey! Wench! What do you think you're doing!?") and starting the shopping madness.  
  
Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Inuyasha all stared at the glittering windows ("It's all magic, guys." Kagome told them) of the shops around them, completely stunned at all the lights and cheesy music blaring around them. They didn't even notice where they were going until Sango (who was holding Shippou) walked right into three young girls.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going..." she stammered, rubbing Shippou's head to calm him down. The girls, however, weren't listening.  
  
"Kagome!"  
  
"EEEK! You must be feeling so much better if you're here shopping!"  
  
"What'd you get me for Christmas?"  
  
"Who ARE these guys?"  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down!" Kagome cried, trying to ward off her school friends weakly. Inuyasha glared witheringly at the three giggly girls, wishing them pain for startling Kagome so badly. Miroku stared at them appreciatively. "Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better. And these guys..."  
  
"We're some friends of hers that visit the shrine really often," Sango lied quickly. At least it was true for Inuyasha.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, that's it!" Kagome grinned, thankful for Sango's quick thinking. "Umn, this is Sango and her little brother Shippou..."  
  
"Little brother?!" Shippou yelped, Sango covering his mouth immediately.  
  
"Uh...ha-ha... He's... just a brat like that..." she said, and Shippou bit her finger with a vengeance.  
  
"Is that a TAIL?" one girl asked.  
  
"Uh, yeah... he thinks he's a kitsune," Kagome invented.  
  
"What?!" Shippou had struggled free of Sango's grasp. "I AM a kitsune!"  
  
"Heeheehee! That's so cute!" all three squealed. Inuyasha cringed.  
  
"Uh, anyway, this is Miroku..." Kagome continued, trying to calm down Shippou.  
  
"Hello, lovely ladies..." the monk flirted shamelessly. "A pleasure to meet you." The three girls giggled insanely. He grinned. "Would any of you like to b--"  
  
Sango kicked him viciously in the shins, and he quickly shut his mouth, backing away from the trio. She just grinned innocently at them.  
  
"Ignore him, he's got a sick sense of humor," she said. They all just nodded confusedly.  
  
"And this is Inuyasha," Kagome blurted, just wanting to run and hide under a rock at this point.  
  
"Feh," was his greeting. The three girls sweatdropped.  
  
"Well, nice to meet you...." one said uncertainly. Inuyasha just grunted.  
  
"Err... well, I've really gotta go finish my shopping! Gotta get back soon and...uh... take my medicine, y'know!" Kagome forced a couple coughs, and her startled school friends stared in horror.  
  
"Oh, so sorry!"  
  
"Yeah, we'll just let you go."  
  
"Nice meeting your friends!"  
  
And they were off in a whirlwind of chattering.  
  
"Medicine?" Inuyasha repeated suspiciously, rising an eyebrow. Kagome sweatdropped.  
  
"Uh... sometimes, a girl's gotta tell a little white lie to get off...." she mumbled.  
  
"Oooh! Kagome LIED!" Shippou shouted accusingly. Kagome hissed a "shh".  
  
"Quiet, Shippou!"  
  
"What'll you give me if I'm quiet?" the kitsune cub asked, grinning wickedly.  
  
Ten minutes later, Sango was carrying a very happy Shippou, who was carrying a bag filled with chocolate. Inuyasha had whined his way into a huge chocolate bar as well, but wasn't as smug about it as Shippou.  
  
Kagome managed to get in and out of the shops pretty quickly, and was almost done when her friends all took up residence along the railing of the second floor, peering down curiously. She paused, wondering if she should investigate them first, or get her gift for Inuyasha. She chose the latter ('They're probably up to no good anyway.') and bought him a bag of dog biscuits... more or less as a joke. She'd think of something better later. Maybe if he was good, she'd free him from his prayer beads for the day. There... that was a good gift. She walked back out and set her bags down, leaning on the railing next to Inuyasha.  
  
"So....whatcha looking at?" she asked. Inuyasha pointed.  
  
"What IS that down there?" he demanded. She chuckled.  
  
"That's Santa Claus."  
  
"Sandy Claws?*"  
  
"Er... close enough. He goes all around the world, giving presents to kids on Christmas," she answered.  
  
"Ho, ho, ho!" the jolly man cried from below them.  
  
"What're those sticks he's giving the kids down there?" Shippou asked.  
  
"Candy canes..." she immediately regretted saying it, though, when Shippou's eyes lit up gleefully.  
  
"Candy! Oh boy, I'm gonna go get one!" And he jumped over the railing and to the floor below, many people screaming. He ran right out of the circle of women who'd fainted when he landed amongst them (gracefully, of course, on his paws) and up to Santa, holding out his hands.  
  
"Hi, Mr. Sandy Claws, can I have some candy?" he pleaded, giving Santa the biggest sad eyes he could muster. The poor man just held out a candy cane with a trembling hand. Shippou snatched it and thanked him hurriedly, then ran back below where the rest of the gang was staring at him above. "Hey! I can't get up!"  
  
"Stupid runt... I'll go get him," Inuyasha growled, and heaved himself up over the railing as Kagome yowled after him.  
  
"No! Please, no--oh, God..."  
  
He jumped below, snatched up Shippou, and jumped right back up again. People were pointing and talking excitedly.  
  
"What?" Inuyasha asked blankly, at Kagome's horrified look. She snatched up her bags and nabbed his wrist.  
  
"HURRY UP AND RUN!"  
  
Sango, Miroku, and Shippou glanced at each other in shock, then barreled after them, the whole contents of the mall pouring after them, yelling.  
  
It was only the beginning of Kagome's Christmas nightmare.  
  
  
  
*I don't mean to imitate Nightmare Before Christmas, but I figured they'd think the same as Jack. ^^;  
  
A/N: Ahh.... this is my first Inu fic, but I've read so many by now, I've got a good feel of how to write em. Hope you liked it! I'll have part two up soon enough. Review, please! ^__^ 


	2. Part Two

A/N: Oh, wow, I feel so LOVED! 12 reviews (last I checked)! I LOVE you people! *gives anyone who reviewed a cookie* I'm eternally grateful for the constructive critism (I'm making a few brush-ups for this chapter and doing a few suggestions from reviewers). Thank you all again! Part 3 will be up really soon, too, and will include the actual Christmas madness and the return to the Sengoku Jidai. Thanks for reading this, and don't forget to review!  
  
Inuyasha: A Christmas Catastrophe Part Two  
  
It was Christmas Eve morning, and a dull greyish glow was filling the Higurashi household. A heavy silence hung in the air, only the soft sound of snow falling outside occupying it. Kagome vaguely remembered being grateful for the peace when she awoke at six a.m. for a whole of five minutes, since last night had been so....chaotic.  
  
When they had finally returned home, she had hurriedly explained to Shippou and Inuyasha that people were even less knowledgeable about demonic traits in her time than they were in the Sengoku Jidai. Neither of them seemed to understand this, but solemnly swore not to do anything like jump 15 feet into the air in public anymore.  
  
Then there was dinner, which probably could have made a decent horror movie if Kagome ever wanted a career in movie directing. Inuyasha had flat-out eaten like the dog he half was, shovelling handful after handful of steaming hot rice into his mouth, slurping noisily at his ramen at the same time. Miroku had marvelled at this, dropping a sweet dumpling from his chopsticks and right onto his worn-out blue jeans (they still hadn't changed out of their "normal" clothes). Shippou had taken full advantage and stolen it from him, then proceeded to eat in almost the exact same fashion as Inuyasha...but at least he had an excuse: he was a FULL demon, and was still a child at that. Sango had just tried her best to ignore them all, sipping quietly at her tea.  
  
After the dinner fiasco, Kagome's mother sorted out where everyone was going to be staying that night. Miroku, Inuyasha, and Shippou were to sleep in the living room (despite Souta's pleading to let her let Inuyasha sleep in his room), while Sango could stay in Kagome's room. Just as the girls were heading up to Kagome's room, her mother shouted out a "HOLD IT!"  
  
"What is it, Mom?" Kagome had asked, turning around curiously, expecting to see Miroku sneaking up the stairs after them. Instead, all she saw was an amber blur as Shippou shot behind her ankles to hide.  
  
"Sorry, little one, but you should stay with the men," her mother had said matter-of-factly, and started up the staircase after the kitsune, who scrambled up to Kagome's shoulder.  
  
"Aw, Mom, let him stay with us," Kagome had grinned. "He always sleeps next to me."  
  
"She's warm! And her scent's really comforting!" Shippou had continued for her. Kagome turned slightly red. Unnoticed by anyone was Inuyasha muttering, "Feh. Don't I know it."  
  
"Well...ok, then. Run along before I change my mind."  
  
And thus, Kagome had lent Sango some spare pajamas; namely, a pair of plaid boxers and an oversized white t-shirt that was practically transparent from all its years of use. This made no difference, however, since she was staying in a room with only another female and a fox child who was too young to know what he was seeing, anyway.  
  
That was probably what had made it so that neither Shippou or Kagome mentioned the shirt's slightly-see-through status to the demon exterminator, and therefore what caused Kagome's rude awakening the next morning.  
  
  
  
"This thing is so strange... what does Kagome-sama call it again?"  
  
"A Tee-vee. Dunno what the hell that means, but it makes pictures and sounds. Here, check it out."  
  
"Holy...! Wow! How'd it DO that?"  
  
"Probably magic again..."  
  
Inuyasha and Miroku were awake before everyone else the next morning, and amusing themselves with the television set... or more accurately, the remote control. They had changed back into their comfortable, loose, everyday clothing the night before and felt rather at home by then. Both kept snatching the little black box from each other and flipping through the channels, forming bizarre sentences from the snippets they got from passing shows.  
  
"...and if you look really closely, you'll see a..."  
  
"...brand new vaccuum cleaner! And if you call in the next ten minutes, you'll recieve this..."  
  
"....Crocodile Hunter! Next on..."  
  
"....this wall, and you'll put the darker red on the other one..."  
  
"Hey, what're they doing to that wall?!" Miroku asked, amazed at what was onscreen.  
  
"Looks like they're spreading blood all over it!" Inuyasha said, blinking in confusion.  
  
The two were quickly engrossed in what turned out to be "Trading Spaces", where two teams switch houses for two days and give one room a complete make-over... whatever that meant. Neither moved a muscle for the whole of an hour and a half, and were well into their second episode before a creak on the stairs and a yawn caught Inuyasha's attention.  
  
Tearing his golden eyes away from the soft, mesmerizing glow of the television screen, his glanced at the stairs, hoping that it was Kagome coming down. This "show" was amazing, he had to tell her about it...  
  
He was supremely shocked when it was Sango who appeared, in what seemed to be a semi-transparent t-shirt. Blushing, he shot to his feet and ran out of the room, wanting to banish the image from his mind forever. Miroku's response couldn't have been more different.  
  
Even though Frank's newest creation WAS attention-grabbing, Inuyasha's sudden disappearence was moreso. He looked up at his friend's retreating back and flying silvery hair, then back at the stairs when he heard Sango's voice.  
  
"What's gotten into him?" she asked.  
  
His jaw dropped, drool instantly forming a small river down his chin, stormy blue eyes going almost as wide as dinner plates. She blinked at him and walked forward to wave a hand before his eyes.  
  
"Hell-oooo? Houshi-sama? Are you alive in there?"  
  
'Shirt....too revealing.... must...not...grope...' Miroku thought, not wanting to have a migraine forced on him so early in the morning. Something in the back of his head (probably that usually-ignored voice of reason) started screaming at him to shut his mouth and stop drooling. But, it was inevitable. One hand reached out as if it had a mind of its own...  
  
Before it was even halfway to its destination of Sango's chest, she had smacked it away from her with a furious, "Ecchi!" And she stormed back upstairs. Miroku couldn't help but heave a sigh of relief... she'd let him off easy that time. His relaxation didn't last long, however, because when Sango slammed Kagome's door shut with a bang, Kagome's surprised shriek followed immediately afterward.  
  
He knew he was going to be blamed for this.  
  
Thinking fast, he abandoned the television and tore after Inuyasha, finding the hanyou in the kitchen and searching for ramen, sniffing cautiously. He looked up at Miroku when he blew into the room like a tornado.  
  
"What is it, bouzou?" he asked lazily.  
  
"I think Kagome-sama and Sango-san are going to be in here in a second trying to kill me... don't tell them where I am, ok?" he asked, ducking outside and behind a thick bush. Inuyasha just nodded.  
  
"Will do."  
  
Just as Miroku had predicted, Sango and Kagome came tearing in seconds later, Sango in her usual kimono and armed with her boomerang. He blinked, surprised at the speed with which the exterminator had changed, and just shrugged, continuing his search for ramen with a disinterested "feh".  
  
Sango's voice, almost creepily quiet, broke his concentration. "Inuyasha."  
  
"What?" he asked, glancing up at her. She was moving forwards with the same deliberate slowness with which she spoke next.  
  
"Have you seen Miroku?"  
  
Gulping, Inuyasha pointed at the back door and said, "Outside, hiding behind a bush."  
  
"Good boy," Kagome said, patting him on the head as she walked past. He didn't even bother to growl, since the look in her eyes told him plainly that he'd be sat until his back broke if he did. The girls walked out into the snowy backyard in their slippered feet. He winced when Sango threw the Hiraikotsu into the bush with a shout of rage.  
  
He almost felt bad when he heard Miroku's wail of "TRAITOR!".  
  
  
  
A few hours later, Kagome had somehow convinced everyone to come with her outside for a snowball fight. Souta had pounced on the idea, wanting Inuyasha to be on his side because he could surely out-throw Kagome anyday. Kagome had replied that it would be every man and woman for themselves, and so, everyone was out in the snow and freezing cold, forming snowballs and hurling them at one another.  
  
Miroku and Sango were having a bit too much fun with the game and kept tricking each other into going beneath a low treebranch just so that one could dump a pile of snow on the other. Shippou was having a hard time throwing the snowballs and was just settling for cheering on Kagome from the sidelines and booing Inuyasha until he was barraged with a flurry of snowballs from a hysterically laughing hanyou. Kagome nailed Inuyasha with a particularly large snowball as Shippou's revenge, and had gotten one in the face from Souta in return. When she'd turned to pummel her little brother, a wad of snow hit her between the shoulderblades, making her stop and turn slowly.  
  
Inuyasha grinned innocently at her, holding another snowball behind his back. She just grinned right back.  
  
"Sssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....."  
  
"NONONO! I'M SORRY!"  
  
"iiiiiiiiii....."  
  
"KAGOME! REALLY! DON'T SAY IT!"  
  
"iiiiiii...."  
  
"I'm gonna die...."  
  
"..........ir, you are gonna pay," Kagome finally finished, rather pleased with the way Inuyasha was cringing in horror.  
  
The game continued well into the afternoon, but finally stopped when Sango pounced on Miroku and decided that tickling made a better torture device than snowballs. Kagome dragged her friend off of the houshi, then helped him up as well. They all headed inside to warm up.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha was quickly learning that this "fruitcake" stuff was incredibly vile.  
  
It was getting kind of late, and Kagome had appeared with a plate of cookies (which he found incredibly tasty) and this....fruitcake. Curious, since it smelled pretty good, the hanyou had taken a slice and bitten a huge piece off of it.  
  
And instantly regretted doing so.  
  
He swallowed hard and snatched four cookies off the plate and stuffed them all in his mouth at the same time to try and wash the taste out of his mouth. Kagome's surprised look turned to one of amusement and she just turned to offer some sugary food to Sango and Shippou, who were stretched lazily on the couch.  
  
Inuyasha, having recovered from his temporary fruitcake-paralysis, offered the rest to Miroku, who accepted it like the fool he was and took a small bite from the opposite side Inuyasha had bitten off of. He too made a face and swallowed, then chugged down half of his glass of egg-nog (which everyone thought was quite possibly the greatest drink ever invented).  
  
"What IS this stuff?" Miroku asked thickly, holding out the offending piece of fruitcake so that Kagome could see it.  
  
"Fruitcake," she replied simply, and shrugged. "Look, if you don't like it, don't eat it..."  
  
Sango gingerly took a piece from the plate and tore it in half, handing the other half to Shippou. Both of them took a test-nibble from their pieces and grinned brightly.  
  
"Ish gud, Ka-ome!" Shippou cried enthusiastically, ignoring the fact that he was spewing little chunks of fruitcake all over the place.  
  
Sango swallowed. "It really is good."  
  
"Nice to know someone likes it," Kagome laughed.  
  
The group of friends stayed in the living room for a while longer, just talking quietly about whatever came to mind, until Sango stretched and yawned.  
  
"Oh... sorry, everyone, but I think I'll be going to bed now," she said. "G'night."  
  
"Goodnight, Sango," they all chimed.  
  
"I'll be up in a minute, ok?" Kagome called.  
  
"Sure thing," Sango said with an absent wave of her hand, and she headed up the stairs to Kagome's room again. Miroku started to stand up, but Inuyasha pushed him back down again. The monk heaved a frustrated sigh, but stayed put when the half-breed took his hand away from his shoulder.  
  
It wasn't much longer until Kagome was on the brink of collapse, so she said goodnight to Inuyasha and Miroku, picked up Shippou (who was already asleep), and headed upstairs.  
  
She lay there for only a few minutes before falling asleep, but all she could think about was giving everybody their gifts the next day... she drifted off, not even hearing Inuyasha's enraged bellow for Miroku to get back into the living room before he broke both of the monk's legs.  
  
  
  
End Part Two  
  
A/N: Thanks for reading! And sorry this part's so much shorter than the first one, but the next one will make up for it all. Next time: Christmas day, presents, and Miroku's new obsession with mistletoe! 


	3. Part Three

Inuyasha: A Christmas Catastrophe Part Three  
  
Sango continued her slow trudge up to the ancient Go-Shinboku Tree, not really caring how the snow kept seeping up above the "sneakers" that Kagome had lent her. The sun hadn't risen yet, so a peaceful greyish-blue light was spread out around her, reflecting off of the snow. She smiled slightly and paused at the roots of the huge tree. It was SO old... even older than it had been in her time. Amazed, she stared up at the stretching branches and sighed.  
  
She almost leapt out of her skin when a soft voice interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Sango-san?"  
  
She turned, eyes wide and face red, to see none other than Miroku walking up to her. Trying to get her heartbeat to slow down a bit, she stammered, "H-Houshi-sama... what are you doing out here so early?"  
  
"I could ask you the very same question," he replied, smiling lazily.  
  
"Err... I guess I just wake up really early."  
  
"Ah. Well, apparently this tree is a meeting place for early-risers..."  
  
They stood in silence for a moment, Sango's guard up high, just in case the lech would decide on trying to grope her. He finally broke the silence by clearing his throat.  
  
"Sango-san, I came out here for another reason." She started to inch away from him, and he just laughed and held up both hands. "I'm not going to try anything funny! I swear."  
  
"You'd better not," Sango warned him.  
  
"I won't. But... Kagome-sama kept going on about these... Kriss-Miss presents, and I felt kind of bad that I hadn't gotten you anything..."  
  
'Good God, what's he gonna pull this time...?' Sango groaned inwardly. Her train of thought ran right off the tracks when the houshi stepped forward, hugging her gently.  
  
"What're you..." she started.  
  
"Sango-san, I'm sorry for making your life a living hell for the past few years. And..."  
  
"And...?"  
  
Miroku said nothing, but leaned down towards her. Her heart stopped dead, but her mind ran wild again.  
  
'He's gonna kiss me!'  
  
His face was mere centimeters from hers... he was really going to do it...  
  
"IIIIIIT'S CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAS!"  
  
"GYAAH!"  
  
Sango promptly fell from the cot that Kagome had set up for her and onto the floor with a painful thwump. She sat up quickly, not knowing that Souta was hovering over her...  
  
"OW! Sango-sama, that HURT!" he wailed, rubbing a growing lump on his forehead.  
  
"Serves you right for waking her up like that," Kagome grumped from across the room. Her eyes were still blurry with sleep. "Sango-chan, are you okay?"  
  
"Ugh," Sango croaked out. "I guess so."  
  
"Hey, Sango..." Shippou said.  
  
"Yes, Shippou?"  
  
"What were you dreaming about?"  
  
Sango's face went the color of a tomato. "N-nothing..."  
  
"Nothing, eh, Sango-chan?" Kagome asked, grinning playfully at her across the room. She was catching on without even a word of her dream being mentioned.  
  
"You kept saying Mi--" Sango clapped her hand over the kitsune's mouth.  
  
"Say it and die, fox child," she growled. Kirara mewled from beside her, emphasizing her point. Souta scowled and left the room to go and wake Inuyasha and Miroku. Shippou struggled against her hold.  
  
"She kept saying what?" Kagome asked curiously.  
  
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Sango said, blushing even redder.  
  
Shippou finally broke free of the exterminator's grasp and let out a yell that echoed through the house for a few seconds afterward. "MIROKU!"  
  
Kagome burst out laughing, falling onto her back again. Sango snarled and pounced at Shippou, who shot out of the way, only to be chased by Kirara.  
  
Miroku walked in on the scene only moments later, immediately wondering what had been happening.  
  
Sango was in the center of the room, face-down on the carpet and twitching with rage. Kagome was on her back in her bed, kicking her feet and giggling like an idiot. And there was a cream and rust colored blur of a ring around the room, which he guessed was Kirara chasing Shippou, since he didn't see either of them anywhere else. He stepped carefully over the ring and glanced down at Sango for a moment before offering a hand to help her up.  
  
"Was I called in here a moment ago for any particular reason?" he asked.  
  
"N-hahaha-ho-o reason...!" Kagome laughed. Sango accepted Miroku's help and rose to her feet. The houshi couldn't help but notice that she was blushing so hard that she was practically glowing a flourescent red.  
  
"Are you okay, Sango-san?" he quipped.  
  
"F-fine," she stammered back. "Err... so it's Kriss-Miss right? Let's...uh... go eat breakfast or something."  
  
The reminder of Christmas snapped Kagome out of her giggling fit. "Oooh! No, presents first! I don't know if I can stand waiting to see your reactions any longer!" And she tore out of the room and downstairs, leaping over the ring that was Kirara and Shippou with ease. Miroku and Sango remained for a moment, sweatdropping, before they followed.  
  
  
  
"Merry Christmas!" Kagome's mother cried cheerfully, waving to Miroku and Sango when they appeared in the living room.  
  
Lounging around the room were Souta, a very sleepy Inuyasha, and Kagome on the couch, her grandfather in one of the armchairs, and her mother in another. They walked into the room, amazed with the number of brightly- wrapped packages lying around on the floor. Sango sat down in the last armchair and Miroku sunk to the ground beside her.  
  
"Where's the runt and Kirara?" Inuyasha yawned.  
  
"Kirara's trying to murder Shippou," Sango muttered. None of the Feudal gang found this remarkable, but Souta gave a shout of surprise.  
  
"And you're not going to help him?!"  
  
"He always finds a way out," Kagome commented calmly. Sure enough, a few seconds after she said it, a mini-Sesshoumaru in his demon form with a fox tail instead of his long, fluffy one came tearing down the stairs, chasing a terrified Kirara. Everyone sweatdropped as one.  
  
Recovering from the shock of a demon-cat-and-dog-fight quickly, Souta exclaimed, "Let's open presents now! C'mon!"  
  
Each gift was distributed to whoever's name was on the tag, and Souta opened one of his presents first.  
  
"A....pack of ramen...? Uh, thanks, Inuyasha-niichan," he blinked. Inuyasha nodded proudly. He'd sacrificed his own pack of ramen to give to the brat, and he'd better like it! Kagome was next.  
  
"Oh, a new scarf! Thanks, Mom!" And she hugged her mother.  
  
The pattern continued until everyone had opened all of their gifts. Sango didn't know what to make of the scented soap Kagome's mother gave her, but really liked the little stuffed cat that Kagome got her. It looked quite a bit like Kirara. Miroku was rather attached to his new earrings that he'd gotten from Kagome, and laughed when the rest of her family gave him a little box that recorded voices... they had figured it'd keep him occupied and away from Sango a bit more. Shippou was over-the-moon with all the candy he recieved, Kirara loved the ribbons she got to toy with, and Inuyasha...  
  
He loved the huge box of ramen he'd gotten from Kagome's family, but Kagome herself had given him...  
  
"Dog....treats...?" he read slowly.  
  
"Uh... a kind of cookie for dogs," she said, chuckling nervously. Inuyasha dug into the box and chomped down on one bone-shaped biscuit. He grinned.  
  
"These are REALLY good!"  
  
"Good to know you like them," Kagome giggled, while Souta literally rolled on the floor laughing. Her grandfather rolled his eyes, and her mother chuckled to herself. "But that wasn't my whole gift... now don't take this too far..."  
  
"Take what too far?" he asked, mouth full of doggie biscuits. Kagome reached over and gently lifted the prayer beads from around his neck. His jaw dropped, littering crumbs all over his lap.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Inuyasha," she said softly. Miroku and Shippou both thought they were going to faint. Sango's eyes went as wide as saucers. The hanyou leapt to his feet, swallowed what was left of his treats, and let out a bellow of immense joy.  
  
"I'M FREE!! WAAA-HAHA!"  
  
He laughed for a good hour and a half before Kagome threatened to put the rosary back on him.  
  
  
  
Christmas dinner was incredibly bizarre for the Higurashis. They had their usual turkey and stuffing, mashed potatos and gravy, and corn, but at the request of Souta, added some new things to "make Inuyasha and the others feel more at home." These new additions included pickles, ramen, and rice; the pickles were entirely Souta's idea...again. Kagome was on the brink of destroying her little brother for trying to suggest doggie biscuits, but Inuyasha had agreed that it sounded good, and so a plate of dog treats graced the table before where Inuyasha sat.  
  
The dinner was going surprisingly well, considering Shippou and Inuyasha's table manners, up until Inuyasha finally got off of eating just ramen and dog treats and decided to try the rest of the food.  
  
Stuffing a large amount of stuffing, mashed potatos, and turkey in his mouth, Inuyasha exclaimed, "Thish ish weawwy gud!"  
  
"Inuyasha, don't talk with your mouth full," Miroku scolded absent- mindedly, reaching behind him for his staff to whack the hanyou, only to find it wasn't there. He whirled around, glaring at Shippou when he noticed that the little kitsune had stolen it.  
  
Inuyasha swallowed. "But it IS good! Oi, lemme try something..."  
  
Kagome dropped her fork to her plate with a clatter when she realized what he was doing. She stared in horror as he dumped turkey, stuffing, mashed potatos, a pickle, some rice, and a dog biscuit into his ramen. She then opened her mouth to sit him, but realized that the rosary was around HER neck for the day.  
  
"Inuyasha, no...!" she wailed, and shuddered when he drank a bit of the stuff right out of the bowl. Sango stared in frozen horror for a moment before sliding over into Miroku, dazed. The houshi was too disgusted with Inuyasha to even notice that Sango, of all people, was leaning against him. Shippou, Souta, and Kagome's grandfather all clapped, as simple-minded men will do when such accomplishments are made, and her mother went terribly pale.  
  
Inuyasha grinned after swallowing a few gulps of the monstrosity. "This is REALLY good!"  
  
  
  
Kagome and Sango had stayed behind in the kitchen to help her mother clean up after dinner while the men all headed back out into the living room. It was at this point that Inuyasha noticed that he hadn't gotten Kagome anything for Kriss-Miss. This just wouldn't do. She had freed him from the rosary (granted, probably for only a day), and therefore, she deserved something good. But... what could she possibly want...?  
  
He could smell her coming back into the living room before he saw her, so he stood and walked towards her, aiming to ask what she wanted as a gift. They stopped in the doorway, and he scowled down at her.  
  
"Oi, wench, what did you want for--"  
  
"HEEHEE! Kagome!" Souta cried.  
  
"Hold on a second, Souta! What were you saying, Inuyasha?" she asked.  
  
"Nonono! Kagome! You know the rules!" Souta shouted, giggling.  
  
"What rules...?" Kagome snapped, then it dawned on her. 'Oh...no...'  
  
Slowly, she looked up and to her horror, she saw... MISTLETOE. This was NOT happening... a furious blush spread up her neck and to the very roots of her hair.  
  
Souta continued to laugh like a maniac, chanting "Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!". Miroku quirked an eyebrow and watched, interested. Inuyasha's ears swiveled from side to side, his confusion shining in his amber eyes.  
  
"What rules?" he asked.  
  
She gulped. "Rules are... if you're standing under mistletoe..." She pointed up. "You have to kiss whoever is standing under it with you...."  
  
Inuyasha blushed even redder than Kagome. Now Miroku, Sango, Shippou, Kagome's grandfather, and Souta were egging them on, Sango having heard Kagome from the kitchen. Kagome stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Inuyasha on the cheek. Souta let out a loud wail of disappointment.  
  
"That doesn't count!"  
  
"It counts, brat!" Inuyasha roared, but Kagome's mother was now in on the deal.  
  
"It doesn't," she teased. Kagome, blushing, if possible, even redder, leaned up and kissed Inuyasha (on the lips this time) gently, then tore off to her room. Inuyasha made no move to follow her; he was too stunned to move at all. Sango laughed, then headed back into the kitchen to finish with the dishes.  
  
Miroku grinned, an idea dawning on him slowly.  
  
"Hey...Inuyasha."  
  
No response.  
  
"Inuyasha!"  
  
No response.  
  
"DOG BOY!"  
  
No response. Miroku just pulled the hanyou out of the doorway and tossed him onto the couch, and took up residence where he had just been standing. Sango would have to leave the kitchen eventually... gwaahaha, this was the greatest idea he ever had.  
  
  
  
The good thing about the stupor Inuyasha slipped into was that the idea for what he would give Kagome finally popped into his head. He could give...himself. Sure, he wasn't the greatest present, but he was sure Kagome wouldn't mind TOO much. Besides... though he'd never admit it to anyone, he loved her, and already belonged to her anyway.  
  
The trick would be getting himself to look even distinctly like a gift. A bow would do, he supposed.  
  
So, feeling very foolish, he gingerly approached Kagome's mom (she had escaped the kitchen in a brief moment in which Miroku surrendered his post), holding a bright green bow.  
  
"Umn... Higurashi-sama...?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, Inuyasha?"  
  
"Uh... I know this sounds weird, but... could you put this bow around my neck?"  
  
She smiled knowingly and tied the bow, careful not to make it too tight. Inuyasha grinned sheepishly at her.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"You're very welcome... run along, now."  
  
He nodded and headed up the stairs to Kagome's room. She had come out earlier, but since it was getting rather late, she had headed up to bed. He could hear her and Shippou talking, though, so he was sure she wasn't asleep.... she was probably waiting up for Sango, who was still holed up in the kitchen.  
  
He knocked softly on the door, hearing both voices fall silent for a moment before Kagome's voice drifted through it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Grinning, an idea coming to him, Inuyasha called, "Delivery for a Kagome Higurashi?"  
  
She opened the door, staring at Inuyasha as if she'd never seen him before. She couldn't help but laugh at the bow around his neck.  
  
"What? What the hell's so funny?" he asked, feeling rather dejected now. She smiled and put her hand to his cheek. He blushed.  
  
"Is this your Christmas gift to me, Inuyasha?"  
  
"Umn...yeah."  
  
"I love it," she said warmly. He blushed even more. "I've always wanted a puppy for Christmas!"  
  
"Puppy?!" he repeated increduously. She silenced him by kissing him again, this time not in a hurry to run off elsewhere. His ears twitched furiously when she pulled away.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Inuyasha."  
  
"Merry Kriss-Miss, Kagome."  
  
"What's wrong with them?" Shippou whispered to Kirara, who gave a feline shrug.  
  
  
  
"Miroku... can't you just give up?" Sango asked tiredly. According to the glowing clock on the... what was it called? My-crow-wave?....it was 1:00 AM. She was exhausted, not to mention bored out of her skull. She had been sitting in the damn kitchen for the whole afternoon and evening, with nothing to entertain her except for striking up conversations with the houshi blocking her only way out. She would go outside, but she had no shoes on, and she'd rather kiss the lech than freeze her feet off.  
  
"I'll give up when you give up," he yawned. He wasn't too pleased with how she kept evading him, trying to outsmart him. He was tired of standing... and just plain tired. Inuyasha had long since returned from Kagome's room, a happy grin plastered across his face, and fallen asleep on the couch.  
  
"I'll never give up," she challenged. Miroku decided a subject change would be good.  
  
"Sango-san... do you understand this whole Kriss-Miss thing?"  
  
".....not at all. What do trees and plants hanging from doorways and big fat men in red suits have to do with the birth of this savior Kagome was telling us about?"  
  
"Nothing, I suppose. Do you think the gifts are the true meaning?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
They both paused, Miroku breaking the silence after five minutes.  
  
"That reminds me... I didn't get you anything."  
  
"Don't bother trying to think something up.... the fact that you didn't grope me all day is gift enough."  
  
"You think so?" he asked thoughtfully. "I wanted to do something more for you..."  
  
Sango reddened. "You're lucky I don't have my Hiraikotsu...!"  
  
"I didn't mean it that way!" Miroku cried, surprised that for once, she had been the one with her mind in the gutter. "I meant..." He sighed. "I wanted to give you something that would mean a lot to you."  
  
"The no-groping meant a lot to me."  
  
"That's not my point." He had an idea, and stepped out of the doorway for the first time since he'd let Mrs. Higurashi escape. "There. You can go. I give up."  
  
Sango stared. He had given her two gifts that day, then... making a decision right then and there, she strode purposefully towards the monk and dragged him back into the doorway, kissing him gently. She pulled back once she was out of air, grinning at the stunned look on Miroku's face.  
  
"There's one gift... and your second one..." she leaned up and whispered something into his ear. His eyes widened and he stared at her, completely and totally shocked.  
  
"Y-you will...?"  
  
She nodded and smiled at him, then headed up to Kagome's room for the night. "Goodnight, Miroku-kun."  
  
"N-night...Sango-chan..."  
  
He fell backwards against the wall and slid down it, his mind swirling with confusion. 'I must be dreaming.'  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day, everyone was in a great mood and was ready for the return to the Sengoku Jidai. Kagome still had Inuyasha's prayer beads around her own neck and didn't intend to give them back for a while, Sango and Miroku weren't fighting for once, and Shippou was on a complete sugar buzz. They all said their goodbyes to Kagome's family, thanked them for their hospitality, and headed to the mini-shrine to jump back through the well, a Shikon shard per person to ensure that they would make it through.  
  
The trip went smoothly, the only downside when Sango toppled Inuyasha over with her not-so-skillful landing on the other side. He had been in a good enough mood to let her off with a mere "Feh, wench, watch where you're going."  
  
Inuyasha's terrific mood was truly confirmed, however, when Kouga strolled up on the snowy path, eyes glittering with malice.  
  
"Hey, dog-turd, where'd you go with MY woman?" he snarled. Inuyasha's ears and right eye twitched, but he just grinned back at the wolf demon.  
  
"YOUR woman? Excuse me? Whose prayer beads is she wearing?" His smile widened at the shocked look on Kouga's face. "Get lost, wolfie."  
  
Kouga seethed with silent anger, eyes flashing, and he started to lunge forward... only to have a dog treat bounce off his forehead.  
  
"What the--" he started, staring at Kagome, who was armed with the whole box of biscuits.  
  
"Kouga?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"Yeah...?"  
  
"Get stuffed." She threw a handful of the treats on the path in front of him and calmly walked past, the rest of the gang following her and trying to withhold their laughter. Confused, Kouga stayed put, and gingerly picked up a treat once they were out of sight. He sniffed it cautiously and bit down on the bone-shaped thing, a grin spreading on his face.  
  
"She must really love me the most! These things are GREAT!"  
  
The End....or IS it?  
  
A/N: Alrighty, I'm done! Hope everybody liked it! Read and review, ok? And one more thing.... An Author's Note is gonna be posted up next, with thanks to everyone who reviewed the first two parts. Thanks again! ^__^ 


	4. Thank Yous!

AUTHOR'S NOTES TO THE REVIEWERS!  
  
Mistress of the Night: Holy crap! I'm on your favorites?! Thank you so much!! A big giant cookie for you, and a candy cane! ^__^ Thanks for the suggestions, too, I hope you liked how I tied them in!  
  
kleptomaniac sam: Another one I'm a favorite of! You RULE! XD Another giant cookie and candy cane for you!  
  
Just giant cookies for the following (sorry, but the candy canes went out to only the fave-makers! ^^;):  
  
michael danielson: Thank you! Nice to know you liked it. ^^;  
  
NEOCHAN: Rather enthusiastic, aren't you? lol! Thanks for the 9.7 score! Hopefully, that .3 wasn't too excruciating for you!  
  
Verena: Thanks for the constructive critism. Hope I cleaned up those minor flaws!  
  
I'm Back, I'm Bold, I'm Insane: Glad to know you liked the Sandy Claws thing. ^^; Thank Jack Skellington, not me. lol  
  
lugia321: Another Nightmare Before Christmas fan! Alright! And you're also enthusiastic! Thanks for the review!  
  
Kota Magic: You really should see Nightmare Before Christmas, it's a GREAT movie! The animation's a bit mediocre, granted, but it's good for the time it came out. Thanks for your enthusiasm, and double thanks for the compliment on this thing being one of the funniest X-mas-in-Kagome's-time fics! ^__^  
  
ShadowSpinner: Another enthusiastic one! Thank you so much, and I hope I updated fast enough for you!  
  
Keaira: Awww! I really know how to write? Thank you! That's what Creative Writing classes are good for, I suppose.  
  
SpikeIX: Thanks for the constructive critism, and hopefully I added enough adjectives for you! I was thesaurus-less through most of the typing of the first chapter. ^^;  
  
HotGrrl03: Yeah, Inu playing with the doors was the inspiration for this whole fic, believe it or not! I was reading a fic where he went to the mall with Kagome and thought "wouldn't he think the doors were weird?" As for the clothes... you saw Sango, right? lol... and I hope you liked the mistletoe obsession!  
  
WhitneyLin: Thanks for the review! Was the continuation good enough? ^^;  
  
S1lv3rD3m0n: You have NO idea how much I love you for the uber-compliment! The actual anime? I'm honored! Thanks a ton, and a candy cane for you! ^__^ Great to know this fic amused you so much!  
  
Lil Washu: Eee, "super cool"? Thanks! Hope you liked the last chapter!  
  
Ryu: Enthusiasm again! Yay! I'm very proud to know that this amused you so much, and the doors... well, see what I put down for HotGrrl03. ^^; Thank you for the review!  
  
Megan: No need for double reviews, Megan! ^^; But thanks for the compliment. Hope you liked the ending!  
  
Savannah: Err... sorry to burst your bubble, but I didn't break Miroku's legs. ^^; Inuyasha was just threatening him. Sorry! But nice to know you like the story!  
  
Brittaney Gonzalez: No offense taken, but you and Megan need to reduce the number of reviews! lol! I'm glad to know you liked it.  
  
lindy*girl: I wrote more! ^^; Happy to know you liked it.  
  
Theresa: I hope you liked the ending! And thanks for the compliment; I'm very happy you liked it!  
  
To Everyone Else Who Reviewed After the Third Installment: I love you all! XD Thanks for the support and your belief in my innoce--no, wait, wrong thank you. ^^; But thanks for the support! I'll try and email everyone who reviews after this posting! COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! XD And Merry Christmas! 


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